Quotes from Dad

I have a really bad memory for things like quotes, jokes, my kids' names, etc. I do remember that when I was a boy, my dad (and his peers) had some really funny sayings. I remember none of them but every so often my brother (who obviously has a better memory than I) will throw one out that I recognize as back from "the day". This is an attempt to collect those quotes with a translation here and there (in no particular order):

• If it's worth paintin', it's worth paintin' red.
• Cat got an ass? (in response to some obvious statement).
• Now we're diggin' where there's taters! (we're finally making progress on xxx)
• Anyone can screw something up but it takes a good carpenter to cover it up.
• He got 6 and 2/3s for that (an extra 6 months military service in Korea at 2/3 normal pay).
• A fartin' horse will never tire. A fartin' man's the man to hire.
• You should have two hats like that. One to crap in and one to cover it with. (I don't like your hat)
• We ain't building a piano. (don't sweat the small details)
• Wish in one hand and crap in the other - see which gets full first. (working is more effective than wishing)
• Don't shoot the rain gauge (From grampa Pickel)
• I oughta trade you for an old yeller dog... and shoot the dog.
• (in response to: Where's xxx?") He went to shit and the hounds got him.
• He could shit a rod and scald a rat (he had diarrhea)
• Go pedal your papers somewhere else or
• Go tell your mother she wants you (go away, you bother me)
• He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel
• It smells like lighting struck the outhouse in here
• It’s raining like a cow peein’ on a flat rock
• He’s so tight he’d skin a fart for the grease
• He was hunched over like a dog shittin' fish hooks.
• He didn't know whether to shit or go blind. He shut one eye and farted.
  

Joe was Wrong

Joe Walsh sang "everybody's so different, I haven't changed". I think he was probably wrong on both counts. It's easy and disturbing to see other people change but it's hard to look in the mirror and see something different (except maybe gray hair).

Don't Wait

This thought isn't random at all. It's an unfortunate recurring thought that happens at random times.

When I was about 8 years old I loved to play checkers with my Grandfather. He loved to play checkers too (or so it seemed to me). More accurately, I loved to win at checkers. I think he liked to win too. Grandpa lived on a farm about 10 miles from town. We would go visit on weekends. After a great Sunday dinner while dad was snoozing on the sofa (he was fun to pester while he was trying to sleep - he took it pretty well), if the weather was bad, Grandpa and I would play checkers. He had an old card table with a checker board on it and a set of old wooden checkers. I always knew where to find them.

After a long game which ended with Grandpa chasing me around the board in a no-hope situation (for me), it was clear that I was about to lose and that Grandpa wasn't going to make a mistake (intentional or otherwise). Finally, in a fit of frustration and immaturity, I kicked the table over and ran away. Upon further review, I was very embarrassed over my behavior. I owed Grandpa an apology.

I held that apology to deliver "someday when the time was right" Our relationship was never quite the same (at least to me). It was always a bit tentative. I certainly can't point to any behavior on his part that would support this change in the relationship. It was all me. That undelivered apology was in the way.

It stayed that way for years. The obligation to apologize for my inappropriate behavior hung in the air at every occasion but I couldn't bring myself to approach the delicate topic. The more time passed, the harder it seemed to find a way to bring up an "old subject." But the obligation didn't go away (it shouldn't have).

A few days after he passed away (when the sense of loss was not overwhelming), it occurred to me that I would never have that "someday" to apologize. My feelings of anxiety around an important obligation instantly turned to regret. A regret that had no apparent ending. No way out.

Now that regret haunts me at random times like this. I can never forget kicking that table over 40+ years ago, the look of surprise on his face.

School's Out!

Is there anything cooler than the last day of school? Even at nearly 50, it's still a special day.

Paint something

My favorite aunt passed away last week. As a child, I was amazed at her career. She was a painter. While all the other women in the world (that I knew about) were housewives or school teachers, she was doing something that just didn't fit. It was cool. She could do fantastic bird whistles too. For years, every time I picked up a paint brush, I thought of her. The last time I saw her, I told her how painting reminded me of her. It felt good. She was talking about getting a replaced knee replaced (it had worn out after 20 years of use). I really don't like painting but thinking of her whistling while she painted makes it a bit less boring for me. I painted for several hours last week.

The Last Concert of the School Year!

If you eat asparagus just before going to you kids orchestra concert and your pee already smells funny when you get home, the concert was too long.

Would Anyone Really Want to Do a Bad Job?

Pride in workmanship. We've all heard about it. Usually we hear the phrase in relationship to some situation where it's apparently missing or is considered a "thing of the past." I can't imagine why anyone would WANT to do a poor job (of anything). I believe that there is a human element that drives us to do our best. It's inate. If left on our own, we would all do marvelous work (in our chosen fields of interest).

I worry however that there are factors that drive us to compromise on that drive.
- Schedule constraints
- Dollar constraints
+ Less capital
+ Less investment in training
- Poorer communication between teams (despite all the tools we have)
- Largely geographically dispursed teams (because of all the tools we have)
- Increasing complexity (nobody can really understand the whole job)
- Lack of visibility to actual results (we produce bits instead of atoms).
- (marginal) Team accountability instead of personal accountability
- this list could go on and on. We probably all have our favorites.

Are those factors getting stronger today than "in the old days?"
Are corporations today spending more and getting less?
Are corporations headed down the path of spending even less but expecting more?

It seems that the answer is "yes" to all of the above.

Can those factors that be reversed? Not easily. The lure of getting something for nothing is extremely strong. The "advanced" world today is geared to optimize everything; to squeeze a bit more "productivity" out of the system, unfortunately even if it's at it's own expense.

The old saying "you get what you pay for" isn't true today. You get way less than you pay for. And you're gonna get even less tomorrow.

At the end of the day, the guy who really wants to do a good job must feel a bit cornered by all these factors and a bit helpless. All (s)he wants to do is a good job but doesn't have the time, materials or talent to do what is being asked of them. It becomes a survival tactic to "let go" of that "I want to do a good job" drive and "settle" for a paycheck. But just a good paycheck won't do anything for keeping you alive. Once you've lost your drive to "do a good job," it's over. It's over for you, for your employer and your customers.

Go to work tomorrow and "do a good job." Your boss isn't as smart as he thinks he is. He doesn't know nearly as well as you, what you're capable of (you probably don't even know what you are capable of). Look for the things that make you want to give up your drive to do a good job. Get angry about those things. Demand that those things be altered. The good paycheck will follow but more importantly, your pride in workmanship will return.

If you've always had that "pride in workmanship," congratulations. Go help someone else discover and develop it for themselves. Teach your children that the most imortant thing they can have isn't the latest video game but their own abilities in which they can take pride for the rest of their lives.

The factors that deprive us from our pride were made by mankind.
They can be managed by us as well.